


Shouyou's Song

by TheRealKags



Series: Songfics [1]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Implied/Referenced Character Death, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Songfic, trigger warning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-12
Updated: 2016-09-12
Packaged: 2018-08-14 16:20:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 539
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8020696
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheRealKags/pseuds/TheRealKags
Summary: TRIGGER WARNING!If you have any problems with things relating to the tags, PLEASE DO NOT READ!Mention of non-con is very short, only one sentence actually. **Name and content inspired by Adam's Song by Blink 182





	Shouyou's Song

_"I never thought I'd die alone,_  
_I laughed the loudest, who'dve known?"_

No one would have guessed it. In fact, no one else knew. Shouyou preferred it that way. Everyday, he hung his head as he biked home. He almost never looked both ways as he crossed the street, hoping that by some stroke of luck he'd get hit. That never happened, of course.

Once home, he would let his father drunkenly scream at him and blame him for whatever went wrong in his day. This was a daily thing for them ever since Shouyou's mother and sister died two months prior. They called it a murder-suicide. Simply put, Shouyou's mother killed his sister, then killed herself.

His father frequently hit him, but Shouyou used his mother's old makeup to cover up the bruises. It was easy to hide, really. Well, it was hard at first, but once he got over the shock of it all and realized that this was his life now, it became quite easy. All he had to do was curve his lips into a smile and flash his teeth. Everyone believed a smile.

_"I traced the cord back to the wall.  
No wonder, it was never plugged in at all."_

He'd attempted suicide several times. As I mentioned earlier, he'd always pray to get hit by a car. But he'd also swallow several pills at once, and one time he slit his wrist. No matter how much he tried, it didn't work. He got sick instead of overdosing on the pills. He missed an artery in his wrist and just got stitches- he passed this one off as a mistake while cooking. His dad knew the truth, he just didn't care.

He was desperate to die, but nothing worked. In fact, one time, he was crossing the street and a drunk driver ran into a telephone pole where he was standing only seconds prior. It was as if the universe was trying to make fun of him. Just teasing him.

_"I took my time, I hurried up,  
the choice was mine I didn't think enough."_

Shouyou began reading up on how to successfully commit suicide. He did it discretely, only searching the placing of arteries in the wrists, or statistics on how most people chose to commit suicide. The problem was that he was a complete chicken.

Each time he held the knife to his wrist, knowing exactly how to slash it, he'd break down. It didn't matter if he was drunk or even high. A switch always flipped in his head, causing him to be unable to commit the act.

_"I'm too depressed to go on,  
You'll be sorry when I'm gone."_

Shouyou rewrote his suicide note every day until he realized that no one would care anyways. Well, maybe they would. He'd heard of people crying over the deaths of even the worst people. Maybe someone would care?

His father. Yes. He'd die just to make his father feel bad. He always screamed at Shouyou, hitting him repeatedly, even violating him. He always made sure Shouyou knew how worthless he was. Dumb. Ugly. Fat. Useless. Maybe, just maybe, his father would have second thoughts once he was gone.

Yes.

He'd do it.

**Author's Note:**

> OKAY so by next month, I'm starting a new work and it's LONG and FULL OF ANGST.  
> This is kind of what inspired it and it sort of leads into that fic I guess?  
> ANYWAYS, updates are on Mondays and please comment with any recommendations, requests, or mistakes you saw.  
> Thanks for reading!


End file.
